


Room's Hush Hush (Now's Our Moment)

by transteverogers



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Shy Liam, basically everyone but andy knows, closeted Liam, out Zayn, well liams not fully closeted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 07:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transteverogers/pseuds/transteverogers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Zayn- he makes me feel fuzzy.” Liam admits quietly. “He makes me feel like it’s the middle of winter but it’s fine because I’m cuddled under 5 different blankets and I don’t have to move because it’s a weekend.” </i><br/> </p><p>(AKA the one where Liam's basically in the closet and utterly adorable about it but frustratingly scared and Zayn just wants Liam to stop running for once)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Room's Hush Hush (Now's Our Moment)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PigSlay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PigSlay/gifts).



> first off massive thank you and dedication to [mae](http://liamstolenboxers.tumblr.com/) for basically coming up with the entire plot line of this fic, i would've never been able to do without you so thank you thank you thank you!! secondly thank u [dess](http://ziamnerds.tumblr.com/) for being the best cheerleader in the world :) this was for the prompt "Community College AU where Liam is sad he's out of high school now and joins an after school Club to make friends. He meets Zayn, Niall, Harry, and Louis. (Either Ziam and side Narry or Lirry and side Zouis)"
> 
> find me on [tumblr](http://eroticliam.tumblr.com/)

“Mate you need to get out.” Liam hears his best mate, Andy say as he comes into Liam’s room. “You’re in university bro, get out, do something. I’m not letting you spend another year shut up in your room.”

 

“I am doing something.” Liam mumbles, holding up the comic he was reading before Andy barged in. He flips the comic over though, making sure he saves the page he was on but paying attention to Andy now. “There’s not much to do around here anyways.”

 

“Join a club, go out for dinner, anything bro.” Andy says, collapsing in his bed across from Liam. Liam still counts his lucky stars for the fact that he and Andy got to room together. Liam had originally wanted to stay at home (his university was just the town over from where he grew up) but Andy and his parents had convinced him to sign up for the dorms, all three claiming he needed to break out of his shell more. That was first year and now in his third year, Liam still signed up to be in dorms. Neither he nor Andy had enough money saved up to actually get a place off campus so they both stayed in the dorms.

 

“Does the university even have clubs?” Liam asks, a bit confused. He always figured those things stopped in high school. Not that he really paid too much attention to what happened around the school, if Liam was being completely honest. For the past two years, the only things he did around campus was go to class or study at the library. Maybe the occasionally party if Andy begged him to come.

 

“Oh my god.” Andy mutters under his breath. “Get up, there’s a club fair going on in the main campus.” He throws a pillow at Liam who easily catches it, tossing it back at Andy. “I refuse to let you spend another year shut up in our room or the library.”

 

“I dunno mate…” Liam says, biting his lip a bit. He didn’t mind clubs in high schools, he was in a couple of them but… University was just so much bigger, so many more people around. His freshman year had been utterly terrifying. Not to say that he wasn’t still terrified of the place, but he’d gotten more used to all the people.

 

“Too late, we’re going.” Andy says, getting back off his bed and tugging Liam off of his. “You don’t actually have a choice about this one mate, sorry.”

 

Liam groans but allows himself to be pulled out of the dorm, grabbing a light sweater off the back of their door before they go. He tugs it on as they walk out of their dorm building and zips it up. It’s September, meaning it’s still warm out but Liam knows that England’s weather isn’t the most reliable thing. He lets Andy talk, only half paying attention to his friend as they walk from their dorm room to the main campus. It wasn’t a very large campus, just a couple buildings for dorms and then a few other for classes and food places. The main building had a large yard in front of it, a yard that was currently filled with different stands of all kinds. Just from where Liam was standing, he could see numerous stands for sports.

 

“They’re all just sport stuff.” Liam says quickly, already turning around to go. Andy grabs his arm. Stopping him.

 

“Dude, c’mon, just look around please?” He asks. “Half an hour, at least.”

 

Liam sighs, nodding. “Fine. Half an hour and them I’m heading back to the dorms- and if I don’t join a club-”

 

“I will drag your ass back down here and make you join a club, don’t test me.” Andy smirks, eyeing a couple of girls walking by.

 

Liam rolls his eyes. “You can go do… whatever it is that you do, I’ll be fine.”

 

Andy looks between the girls and Liam. “You sure man?” He double checks.

 

Liam nods. “Yeah, totally.” He says firmly, even if he can feel his heart tightening in his chest. This is what Andy and his parents wanted right? Liam to do stuff, break out of his shell?

 

Andy grins at him, patting in on the shoulder a couple times before he disappears into the crowd. Liam considered leaving then, lying to Andy and saying he found a club to join but something keeps Liam from doing that. Maybe it’s the fact that he knows Andy would catch his lie and would just drag him back down here. Liam sighs softly, resining himself to the fact that he was going to have to join a club. He slowly goes through the crowd, attempting to not get in anyone’s (the large jocks, namely) way. The crowd thins out the farther he gets into the fair and Liam can tell why right away. These are the less athletic clubs, things that most people wouldn’t be caught dead in like knitting club or…

 

The last stand has a large sign over it reading (in various rainbow colours) ‘GSA - JOIN TODAY!’ Liam hovers back, eyeing the stand. There’s two boys sitting in it, the one on the left side is tall, thin and with long brown hair while the other seems to be the exact opposite of the first boy. Liam hesitantly makes his way over, nervously biting his lip as he expects someone to shout out rude slurs. But, before Liam knows it, he’s standing in front of the table.

 

“Hullo.” The one on the left says, offer Liam a large smile. “M’Harry, and this here is Louis. We run the gsa.”

 

The other boy, Louis, snorts. “I run the gsa, Harry over here just makes heart eyes at a certain-”

 

“Anyways,” Harry says, cheeks flushing as he cuts Louis off. “Would you like to join? We meet every Thursday in the art hall in room 307 around 6, sometimes we go to the coffee shop that’s just across the street though. We’re having a special meeting tonight though, a sort of welcome/welcome back meeting. It’ll be in the coffee shop, probably around 7 or 8. It’s an open mic night too.”

 

“There’s free food most regular meetings as well.” Louis pikes up, gently nudging a form towards Liam. “The forms are really just a formality, we accept everyone.” He continues, actually picking it up and offering it to Liam, who takes it silently.

 

“Oh here, have a pen.” Harry says, grabbing on of the rainbow pens off the table and offering it to Liam. Liam takes it hesitantly as Harry continues to talk. “You don’t talk very much do you?” He asks.

 

“S’okay,” Louis says before he can answer. “We’re usually a talkative bunch so it’s hard to get a word in anyways.”

 

Liam nods, biting his lip again as he look down at the form. It was simple sort of stuff, name, age, major, phone number, that sort of thing. The last question though was what had Liam stuck.

 

Feel free to add your sexual orientation and/or pronouns if you choose!

 

Liam’s pen hovers over the last question as Harry and Louis continue to chatter, thinking. He knew these people would be the last people on earth to judge him but still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to just tell anyone that he was… y’know…

 

Liam bites his lip again before finally writing down something (he/his) and he’s just about to hand the form back before something takes over him and he’s writing down another word, and quickly handing it to Louis. Both boys read over it quickly before Louis grins up at him.

 

“Alright Liam Payne, age 20, music tech major, expect a reminder text on Thursday for our first meeting, we look forward to seeing you there, or better yet tonight.” Louis grins at him. “Have a good day!” He calls, waving Liam off.

 

Liam waves as well, shoving his hands into his sweater pockets and heading back to his dorm. He’d signed up for a club so he figured he really didn’t need to stay any longer. It seems like it’s a quicker walk back to his room than it was to the club fair, probably only because on the way there Liam was walking as slowly as humanly possible and now he’s walking a lot quicker. He reaches his room quickly enough, tugging off his sweater and tossing it on the back of the desk chair before he crawls back into his bed, grabbing his comic again and reading through it.

 

Much later (way past half an hour), Andy stumbles through the door, grinning ear to ear and smelling like beer. Liam wrinkles his nose a bit, closing up a comic (a different one, he’d finished the one he was reading earlier on) as he watches Andy stumble into his own bed. “You’re drunk and it’s not even 6 yet.” Liam points out.

 

Andy shrugs, grinning at him. “Some football dudes had beers there, I wasn’t gonna say no.” He laughs, burping. “Those chicks were so hot.” He adds, looking up at the ceiling. “They invited me to some party, you should come bro.”

 

Liam shakes his head. “M’good.” He says. “I’ve got, y’know, stuff.”

 

Andy frowns. “Dude c’mon, we both know you have nothing better to do.”

 

Liam sighs. “Andy, my better is curling up and re-watcing Iron Man or maybe going to see Age of Ultron.”

 

“You’ve already seen that three times bro.”

 

“… Just because Joss Whedon killed Black Widow’s character doesn’t mean the plot was actually horrible.” Liam mumbles, cheeks red. “I mean ok, maybe I could totally rewrite the entire movie better but still.”

 

Andy looks at Liam for a few seconds. “So… You’re not coming to the party?” He asks.

 

“No, I’m not.” Liam clarifies. “Call me if you get to drunk to function like a normal human being- oh wait, you always do anyways.” He says cheekily, grinning at Andy.

 

Andy rolls his eyes, stumbling over to his closet and tugging his shirt off to get changed. Liam adverts his eyes, turning back to his comic. He flips through the pages, already having read that comic a couple times. He’d probably have to go home and swap out his comics, maybe get his mum to do his laundry too while he was there. The perks of living so close to home.

 

“I’m gonna go get dinner and then head over to the party. Want me to grab you something to eat?” He asks, grabbing a jacket.

 

Liam pauses, thinking. “Nah.” He decides. “I’ll probably run down just before it closes to get something.”

 

Andy shrugs, putting his jacket on and grabbing his phone and keys before calling out his goodbye to Liam and leaving. Liam sighs, going to pick his comic back up but instead his eyes fall on the clock. It was about quarter after 7, the gsa meeting already having started. “I don’t know why I’m doing this.” Liam says softly, closing his comic book and putting it on his bedside table. “I mean, I don’t have to go.” He continues talking to himself as he grabs his own jacket, hand hovering over his keys. “Someone could see me there.” He mumbles, twisting his fingers together uncomfortably. By someone, he’d meant Andy or one of Andy’s friends who knew of Liam. It’s not that Liam thought Andy would hate him for being gay or anything it’s just Liam didn’t know how he’d react, what Andy would do. Would he be fine, would he lash out, would things be awkward? Liam didn’t want to find out until he had to, honestly.

 

Liam takes a deep breath, grabbing his keys and phone before leaving, locking the dorm room door behind him and heading to the coffee shop that one of the gsa members (Harry, Liam thinks but he isn’t 100% sure) had mentioned the meeting being at. He reaches it soon enough, ducking into the coffee shop. It’s alive and full, Liam can hear someone playing the guitar and singing softly and looks in that direction. It’s an employee by the look of their outfit, a guy if Liam was to assume, with bright blond hair and a rough voice. Liam can’t help but notice how nice his voice is, even if it was a bit rough. A quick look around the room and he finds the two boys that were sitting at the fair table in the back corner, sitting with another boy who Liam can’t really see. Unsure, Liam slowly heads over to their table, hands shoved in his pockets. Louis spots him though, as Liam heads over, and wildly waves him over to their group.

 

“Zayn, mate, this is the little puppy dog Haz and I were tell you about earlier, one of the newbies.” Louis explains, grabbing a chair from a nearby table and pulling it over. It scraps loudly against the tiled floor, a couple other people in the area looking over and glaring at Louis, who doesn’t pay attention to them. Instead, he pats the empty chair next to him. “Sit down, join us.” Louis grins.

 

Liam sits down hesitantly, tugging his jacket close because he can’t think of anything else to do. “Um, hello.” He says, offering the table a smile. He glances around the table, eyes landing on the one boy he couldn’t see from the door, Zayn he guesses.

 

Zayn is probably the most attractive person on earth and Liam’s 100% serious about this. He’s got high, sharp cheekbones, with darker skin and raven black hair that Liam can guess was a buzz cut before it started growing back in. It suits him, the whole bad ass punk vibe he seemed to have going. “Vas ‘appening?” Zayn smirks as he eyes Liam and Liam can hear Louis and Harry groan.

 

Liam blushes, ignoring the other two under Zayn’s attention. “M’Liam.” He mumbles, even though Louis introduced him not moments before. He really doesn’t know what else to say at this point, he’s never been so utterly starstruck and stunned by someone before.

 

“Leeyum.” Zayn says, dragging out his name in a way that makes Liam’s stomach flutter. “M’Zayn.” He says.

 

Liam nods. “Hi.” He all but squeaks, too embarrassed and intimated by how utterly attractive Zayn is.

 

Before Liam can redeem himself by saying something of actual note, Louis interrupts them. “Well, Niall’s all done so I’m gonna go bug him for drinks. The regulars?” He asks. The other two nod before Louis turns to Liam. “What’d you drink?”

 

“Oh uh, just a regular tea, three sugars.” Liam says softly, offering him a smile before going to search in his jacket for his wallet.

 

“Don’t bother, Niall always gives them to us for free.” Louis smirks.

 

Zayn laughs and Liam nearly has a heart attack because of how beautiful it is. “It’s a wonder he’s not fired.”

 

“Oh.” Liam says, cheeks flushing in unnecessary embarrassment but he can’t help it. He shoves his wallet back into his jacket as Louis walks over to the counter, cheerfully talking to the boy, Niall (the one who was just on the stage) out of earshot.

 

“So Liam,” Harry says, smiling at him. “Y’know Louis and I weren’t sure if you were gonna show.”

 

“Oh, um, sorry?” Liam says, unsure.

 

Harry waves him off. “Don’t apologise.” He says. “Anyways, are you seeing anyone?”

 

Liam shakes his head. “No I um… Many people don’t know I’m like…”

 

“Gay?” Zayn pips in when Liam fails to say the word. Liam nods, cheeks going even redder. It feels like all he’s done is blush and apologise. “S’cool dude, if anyone gives you trouble about being in gsa just like, punch ‘em.” He laughs, smirking a bit. “You have the muscles for it.” He plainly eyes Liam up and down, still smirking.

 

Liam’s cheeks flush, not used to this sort of attention. Or, really, any attention at all from attractive people- namely, attractive boys. “I um, thank you.” He mumbles quietly.

 

“You look like a puppy dog.” Louis says, suddenly arriving with their drinks. He places them down on the table, pointing out each one. “Black coffee, mine, and then there’s two regular teas with three sugars.” He says, sitting back down and taking a long sip out of his coffee.

 

Liam reaches for one of the teas, completely unaware of Louis glaring at him for taking that one. He takes a quick sip of it before looking over at the table, Harry unaware, Zayn giving him a sympathetic look and Louis plainly glaring at him. Liam roughly bites his lip, wanting to say something but unsure of what he did or if he’s even supposed to say something. Thankfully enough, Harry’s either completely oblivious or he just doesn’t care because he starts up a new conversation, one that Liam is actually able to add into a few times. Mostly though, he just sort of sits back and drinks his tea, content to watch the other three banter.

 

An hour or so into hanging out, Niall seems to finish his shift. He’s still dressed in his uniform and smells offensively like coffee but none of the boys seem to mind as he comes over, collapsing into Harry’s lap (Liam thinks the fact that they have no chairs has little to do with it, given the look the two give each other). “I hate working.” He says, taking a sip out of Harry’s drink.

 

“Heeeey.” Harry says, pouting a bit.

 

Niall just smirks, pointedly taking another sip before handing it back to Harry.

 

“Are you two dating?” Liam asks, unable to stop himself as the words just fall out.

 

Both boys freeze slightly, twin looks of panic in their eyes. “No, no.” Niall says quickly.

 

“We’ve just been friends for a long time.” Harry adds on, both seemingly nervous.

 

Liam nods slowly, eyes flickering to Louis (who seems 500% done) and Zayn (silently laughing and shaking his head a bit), bitting his bottom lip. “Right… Uh, sorry.” He mumbles.

 

“It’s ok mate.” Niall shrugs. “People think that all the time.” He laughs. “Oh, I think I forgot to introduce myself. Niall.”

 

“I’m Liam.” Liam says, offering him a smile.

 

Niall grins back at him. “You look like a puppy dog mate, not gonna lie.”

 

Liam laughs softly, running a hand through his hair. “I used to have this really long curly hair, I looked like some sort of shaggy dog.” He blushes.

 

The table laughs and after that, it seems like the five of them fit together perfectly with Liam there, like he was the puzzle piece they weren’t even sure they were missing.

 

After the makeshift meeting finishes (Liam’s head is still spinning from all the people that came up to the table to say hello to the other boys), Harry and Niall head one way together and Liam’s about to say goodnight to Louis and Zayn when Louis frowns at him.

 

“Dude if you didn’t fit into our group so well, I’d be so pissed right now.” He says, crossing his arms. Even though he’s probably 30 pounds light than Liam and a few inches shorter, Liam’s intimated by him.

 

“Lou, lay off.” Zayn mutters, rolling his eyes.

 

Louis shakes his head. “Dude, no I had this whole thing planned out.” Louis says, coming up closer to Liam. “I finally convinced Niall to write a pick up line- supplied by yours truly- on Harry’s cup and you know who picked it up?”

 

“Oh.” Liam blushes. “I um. Sorry.” He still has the cup in his hand, too lazy to have gotten up and throw it out when they were at the table and he flips it over, reading the pick up line over. He can’t help the small snort that comes out of his mouth. “That’s a um, interesting pick up line.”

 

“What he means to say,” Zayn says. “Is that it’s a horrible pick up line. Hm, I wonder who else told you that.” Zayn says pointedly and Liam can’t help but giggle a bit. Zayn gives him a small smile that has Liam blushing instantly.

 

“Excuse me, that pick up line works every time for me.” Louis says.

 

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Yeah, when whoever you’re picking up is pissed off their mind.”

 

Louis pauses. “Ok, so maybe they’re always drunk. I fail to see why my pick up line wouldn’t work.”

 

“Because there are better options.” Liam says, shrugging a bit. “You could always have gotten him to write ‘caution: you’re hot!’”

 

“Now that’s dumb.” Louis rolls his eyes.

 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, it’s cheesy in the right way. Harry would’ve loved it.”

 

Liam smiles at Zayn, almost blushing at the compliment. Did that count as a compliment? Liam wasn’t entirely sure but everything Zayn did makes him want to duck his head and blush. He’s like a school girl with a crush. “Thanks.” Liam mumbles, still smiling at the other boy.

 

Zayn smiles lazily back at him, his eyes seeming to twinkle in the cafe’s poor lighting. Louis just looks between the two of them before huffing. “Fine, fine. But you still messed up my plan and now Niall’s going to be upset because he’ll think that Harry didn’t like the pick up line and I do not want to deal with a pouting Niall because a pouting Niall means a pouting Harry.” Louis says.

 

“Just tell Niall I picked up the cup instead.” Liam suggests, eyebrows furling together because really, that’s just common sense.

 

“… Fine.” Louis huffs, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and (Liam guesses) texts Niall to tell him. “I still don’t see why we can’t just lock the two of them in a closet and tell them that they’re not allowed to come out until they fuck or something.”

 

Zayn catches Liam’s eye before rolling his own. “We’ve discussed this.” Zayn says in a tired voice, like they’ve discussed it one too many times.

 

“Why don’t you just send them both anonymous notes, saying that they want to meet the other boy somewhere because they’ve been madly in love with the other for ages?” Liam finds himself suggesting.

 

Zayn and Louis both turn to look at him and for a moment, they’re silent and Liam’s scared he’s said something wrong. “Jesus, where the hell have you been hiding?” Louis laughs. “That’s actually ingenious mate.”

 

Liam laughs softly, blushing a bit. “Thanks.” He shrugs, getting up from the table. “Uh… You guys still need my help or you good? I’ve got an early class in the morning so…”

 

Louis waves him off, already beginning to write something on a piece of paper. “Nah man, I think we’re good.” Zayn says. “Thanks though.” He pauses, like he wants to say something else but decides against it.

 

“Do you want my number?” Liam blurts out. “I just- uh- since y’know-”

 

Zayn laughs but it’s not unkindly and makes Liam’s chest feel all fuzzy. “Yeah babe, sure.” He says, tugging out his phone. He unlocks it before handing it to Liam to put his own number in. Liam adds it before texting himself, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket before handing it back to Zayn with a small smile.

 

“Text me like, whenever. If you want.” He mumbles with a shy shrug.

 

“Yeah, sounds cool babe.” Zayn says and Liam refuses to blush or respond to the fluttering feeling in his stomach because of the pet name.

 

Liam waves once before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking out of the cafe, heading for his dorm room.

 

__________________________

 

“Oh my god this is worse.” Is the first thing Liam hears when he walks into GSA the next week (he had to miss the first meeting because Andy dragged him out for drinks and Liam wasn’t sure how to tell him that he’ joined a gay club without outing himself). Liam looks around, his eyes falling onto Niall and Harry who are smiling softly at one another while Louis throws bits of food at them. “Stop this.” Louis says, a piece of pepperoni hitting Niall on the cheek and staying there, causing laughter to erupts from the room. Liam himself can’t help but smile as well.

 

“So your plan worked.” Zayn says, patting the empty seat next to him. Liam sits next to him slowly, as if Zayn might tell him not to sit there. They’d been texting almost non stop since they first met, finding that they had tons in common. Liam had never meshed so well with someone before but that was over text. Liam can think, take his time to reply. Here, he has to say everything to Zayn’s intimidatingly flawless and beautiful face.

 

Liam smiles at him. “So it seems.” He laughs quietly, watching as Niall throws bits of his food at Louis back, laughing loudly.

 

“Stop that Niall, I’m the leader. I could- I could ban you!” Louis grins. “I could totally ban you.”

 

Niall snorts. “Not without Harry’s approval.” He smirks as Louis’s grin falls off his face.

 

“Aren’t we supposed to do things at these meetings?” Liam asks, leaning over to Zayn.

 

He laughs, nodding. “Yeah, suppose so.” He grins, locking eyes with Liam for a moment. “They’re children, honestly.”

 

Liam laughs as well, ducking his head as he agrees with Zayn. “Ahem, Zayn, Liam, we’re having a meeting now.” Louis calls, throwing a piece of pepperoni at Liam. Liam smirks leaning forward with an open mouth and catching it between his teeth and eating it. He can’t help but eat it smugly as Louis’s jaw drops. “Shit, wait, do that again.”

 

Before Louis can throw another piece of pepperoni Harry’s coughing. “Meeting, remember Louis?” He says, eyebrow raised.

 

Louis sighs. “Right.” He points a finger at Liam. “Later.” He says pointedly. “Now, continuing onto our meeting today…”

 

Liam’s trying to fully pay attention to Louis (not actually that hard, he’s a very active and lovely speaker, Liam can’t help but note) when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He digs his phone out, opening the message from Zayn. 'Sick pepperoni catching skills mate aha !' Liam send Zayn a quick smile. 

 

'Me and my best mate used to practice with grapes :P still do sometimes lol' Liam texts back, giving Zayn a tiny shrug. 

 

Zayn starts typing something out on his phone but before he can finish or send it to Liam, Louis's talking to him. "What'd you think Zayn?" He asks pointedly, obviously knowing that Zayn wasn't paying attention. 

 

"'Bout what?" Zayn smirks lazily, obviously not caring that Louis knows he wasn’t paying attention. 

 

Louis rolls his eyes but there's something almost fond traded between them, like this happened all the time. "What do you think about a bake sale and a car wash fundraiser to make money for our annual dance?" He clarifies. 

 

"Wait you guys have a dance?" Liam asks, unable to help from butting in. 

 

Harry nods. "Leftover money from the fundraisers and dance go to researching AIDS and HIV cures." He explains. "Last year's went towards helping LGBTQ* homeless youth get back on their feet."

 

"Oh." Liam says softly, having no idea that the group did this. 

 

"Yeah and the dance is always pretty sick." Niall adds in, grinning. "Last year we had a drag pageant as well- too good man. We should do that again." He directs the last bit to Louis who nods, writing it down. 

 

"We could combine the drag pageant and the dance." Zayn suggests from beside Liam. 

 

Louis makes a noise of agreement, writing another thing down on the pad of paper in his lap.

 

The rest of the meeting continues on like that, the members talking about what types of fundraisers or planned events they should do. Liam tries to help out and add in wherever he can, but he’s definitely not as useful or in the know as most of the other members. He doesn’t really mind though. It’s kind of nice to just sit back and watch everything happen around him. Zayn looks over at him and smiles a few times too, as if he was trying to check on Liam which was nice.

 

Zayn’s nice, Liam decides mentally. He’s nice and pretty and smart and nerdy and-

 

Liam blushes, glancing over at Zayn who, as if could tell Liam was looking at him, glances right back. Their eyes lock and Zayn gives him a little half smile, just a quick up turn of the lips before he’s looking away, paying attention again. Liam’s cheeks flush and it take him a couple moments to look away from the oh-so beautiful Zayn to pay attention again.

 

“Alright, so because we had such a late start this year,” Louis’s saying to the group. “We’re gonna have to bump everything up a bit, which means our first fundraiser will probably have to be, say, Friday next week?” Louis says. “I know it’s early, but that gives us a little over a week and plus, how many of you actually bake things?” His eyebrows raises as he looks at the group. Only Harry and Niall have their hands raised, indicating that they’re the only ones who do bake. “Alright, meet here Friday morning at 10? We can all take shifts throughout the day to make sure there’s at least one person at the table.” He explains.

 

Slowly but surely, the people start heading towards Louis to tell him what times they can help out with the bake sale, and what they’re bringing. Liam’s about to head up as well, thinking about what goods he could possibly buy.

 

“Uh, hey, Liam…” Zayn says before he can get up. “I was uh, I was thinking you and I should get together sometime this weekend?” He suggest slowly and Liam’s heart jumps in his chest. Zayn wanted to meet up with him?! “Y’know, maybe we could bake something together? Show Louis that some of here can bake.” He jokes.

 

Liam nods quickly. “Yeah man, that sounds awesome.” He pauses for a moment. “I actually don’t have a kitchen, I live in the dorms on campus.” He explains, cheeks flushing. Most people moved out after freshman year.

 

“Nah, it’s cool.” Zayn waves him off. “We can do it at my place yeah? Me and Louis share an apartment but he’ll probably be out all weekend, his mum and sisters are coming up.” Zayn explains.

 

Liam nods again, smiling a bit. “Sounds wicked.” He says, blushing a bit and bumping shoulders with Zayn. “Saturday good for you?”

 

Zayn nods. “Yeah mate, I’ll text you.” He says as Liam gets up, still having to head to Louis and tell him what time he can man the table.

 

Liam smiles, nodding for the third time before walking over to Louis. “Uh, hey.” He says. “What time do you need help with the table?” He asks.

 

“What’re you classes on Friday?” Louis asks.

 

“Uhh… I’ve got a morning class till 11 and then an afternoon one but that doesn’t start till 2.” Liam says. “I could do like, 11 to 1?” He suggests.

 

Louis hums, writing it down in the open spot. “You’ll probably be with Harry or Niall, possibly both.” He warns jokingly.

 

Liam shrugs, not minding. “Fine with me.”

 

“Alright, what’re you buying?” he asks.

 

Liam shakes his head. “Me and Zayn are gonna make something.” He explains. “What’d you need covered?”

 

Louis bursts out laughing. “Zayn? Cooking?” He laughs harder. “Zayn can’t cook for the life of him.”

 

“Heard that Louis!” Zayn grumbles loudly from across the room.

 

Liam blushes. “I’m not that bad…” He mumbles, even if he’s lying a bit. He wants to spend more time with Zayn, badly, so if making Zayn believe that he can bake is what it takes, well, Liam’s gonna become the best baker the world has ever seen.

 

__________________________

 

“Uh, so fair warning, I’m a horrible baker.” Is the first thing Liam says when he shows up to Zayn’s apartment on Saturday. “Like, I’ve burnt water before.” He blushes. He tried to research baking, even watched some cooking shows but all it did was intimidate him. There are people out in the world making cakes that had electronics in them for fucks sake!

 

“So am I.” Zayn grins, moving out of the doorway so Liam can walk in. It’s surprisingly clean, for an apartment housing two university aged boys. “The kitchen’s just through that arch over there.” Zayn says, closing the door behind Liam as the other boy wonders into the kitchen, stopping to look at some of the posters on the walls.

 

“You like marvel?” Liam asks, pointing out one of the many marvel posters on the wall. This was one from the first Avengers movie, the same as the movie cover.

 

Zayn nods. “Love them, I’ve got all the Marvel movies. Not to mentions DC ones too. Massive comic book geek.” He shrugs, rolling up one of the sleeves on the sweater he’s wearing and pointing out the “ZAP” tattoo on his arm to Liam with a small blush.

 

“Wicked.” Liam grins at him as the two boys head into the kitchen. The kitchen, unlike the living room, is the very opposite of clean.

 

Zayn blushes. “I was cleaning before you came, I uh- I didn’t have time to get to the kitchen.” He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

 

Liam shrugs. “It’s ok, I don’t mind cleaning.” Liam stress cleaned a lot, it was a bad habit that his mother loved… Did that count as a bad habit? If it was actually a good habit? “Uh, where do you keep your cleaning supplies?” He asks.

 

“Oh, you don’t have to-” Zayn starts to say.

 

“We can’t really cook in this and besides, I said I don’t mind cleaning.” Liam smiles at him and Zayn nods, pointing to the cupboard underneath the sink.

 

“There should be some stuff in there.” Zayn says. “I’m gonna go get the stuff from the bathroom.”

 

Liam nods, heading to the sink and pulling out the cleaning supplies underneath it. He decides it’s probably the best decision to start with the massive pile of dirty dishes sitting in the sink and, leaning forward to take a quick smell of the plates his decision was all but decided for him. He empties one of the sinks and fills it with hot water as Zayn comes back into the kitchen.

 

“You like music yeah?” Zayn says. “Sorry, dumb question, everyone likes music.” He laughs, putting his dock on the only clean spot in the room, a small wobbly looking kitchen table in the back corner. Zayn sticks his phone in it, turning the music on shuffle. Liam grins at the song.

 

“You like Jay-Z?” He asks.

 

Zayn laughs. “You like Jay-Z?”

 

Liam nods. “I like everything when it comes to music.” He admits with a small shrug, beginning to soap up his first few dishes. They fall into a small chit-chatter, occasionally pausing in their conversation to just enjoy the music playing or the clean smell that was beginning to overpower the not-so-pleasant smell that the kitchen originally held. About an hour later, Zayn’s putting the last glass into the cupboard and turning to Liam with a smile.

 

“You really didn’t need to do that.” He says what feels like the millionth time. It probably was.

 

Liam shrugs. “I said I didn’t mind.” He offers Zayn a small smile. “I like spending time with you.” He finds himself admitting, cheeks flushed pink.

 

Zayn’s cheeks flush as well. “I like spending time with you too.” He mumbles, gently knocking shoulders with Liam. “C’mon, we should make those cupcakes.” Zayn says. “I managed to find a pretty easy recipe online, it shouldn’t be that hard to make.”

 

“You’ve probably jinxed it now.” Liam laughs, looking over the printed out recipe. “You got all the stuff?” He asks.

 

Zayn makes a humming noise, confirming that he does before moving around in the fridge to get the ingredients out. “There should be like, big bowls and measuring cups in that plastic bag on the table.” He says, pulling out a block of butter from the fridge.

 

Liam heads over to the table, grabbing the plastic bags and pulling out some of the bowls. They look fairly used, which actually surprises Liam. “I was expecting new ones, still in the package.” Liam laughs, cheeks flushing a bit when he realises he’s said that aloud.

 

Zayn laughs which both calms Liam and makes his stomach flutter. “Nah, I just grabbed them from my mum’s.” He shrugs.

 

“Oh, you live around here?” Liam asks. “I mean, your family.”

 

Zayn nods, getting the last of the ingredients out and putting them onto the counter. “Just the town over, probably a 20 minute drive.” He shrugs. “I didn’t want to go far y’know? I’m a bit of a mama’s boy, I love my family.” His cheeks turn a soft pink.

 

Liam nods, completely understanding what Zayn’s saying. “My family lives in the town, maybe a five minute walk from the university.” He admits. “My parents wanted me to stay in residents though, to branch out and meet new people.”

 

“And you still live in res, yeah?” Zayn asks, coming up behind Liam to read over his shoulder, only Zayn has to go up on his tip toes and even then, he’s resting his head on Liam’s shoulder to read the words. Zayn’s hands move to hold Liam’s hip, for balance of course, but Liam’s heartbeat picks up so much that he’s sure Zayn can hear, if not feel it.

 

“Mhm.” Liam mumbles because he’s not 100% sure that he can trust his voice box to work properly. Fuck, he wants to kiss Zayn more than he’s ever wanted to kiss anyone before. And this was Zayn flirting right? This is how people flirt? With touches, and making eyes? Liam almost groans, having no idea how the whole dating and flirting thing worked. Most girls overlooked him in high school and even if they didn’t, it’s not like Liam would’ve been interested in them. “I um, I’m rooming with my mate Andy and all the places around the university that we were looking at were too expensive for two people to split rent, we’d need another couple roommates and everyone we-” we meaning Andy “know already had roommates figured out so we just decided to stay in res.” He shrugs a little bit, careful not to jostle Zayn.

 

“Cool.” Zayn mumbles, the warm breath brushing against Liam’s ear. “I should move so we can start baking but you’re warm.”

 

Liam smiles a bit, moving slightly so he and Zayn are pressed closer. “You’re pretty warm too.” Liam says back, trying his hand at this whole ““flirting”” thing… He hopes he’s doing it properly.

 

The two of them stay like that for another couple moments before Zayn lets out a small sigh, pulling back from Liam. “Baking, we’re supposed to be doing that.” He laughs. “Wanna read out the instructions babe?”

 

Liam nods, starting at the beginning. “Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Mix the cocoa, food colouring, and vanilla together in a small bowl and set aside. Beat the butter and sugar togeth-”

 

“Wait wait, one at time.” Zayn laughs, heading over to the oven. “How hot?”

 

“350.” Liam says, glancing down at the recipe to make sure he got it right. “Yeah, 350.”

 

Zayn sets the oven before turning back to Liam. “What now?”

 

“Mix cocoa, food colouring and vanilla in a small bowl and set it aside.” Liam reads off. “You need a third cup of cocoa, 3… I think that’s tablespoon? Whatever the one with tbsp on it, you need three of those-” He laughs, realising how little he knows about baking. “And half a teaspoon- the tsp one- of vanilla.” He explains.

 

Zayn nods, moving around to get the measuring things they need. “Wanna grab the bowl?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Liam says, moving to grab the bowl so they can start making their cupcakes together. They manage not to mess anything up until they get to the part where they’re supposed to put the flour into the mix, while beating it. One moment it’s fine, the next, Liam’s torso is covered completely in flour.

 

Zayn looks at Liam, eyes wide before a small laugh escapes him. “You’ve uh, you’ve got a little flour.”

 

“You don’t say.” Liam says flatly, eyeing the bag of flour next to him. Slowly, he turns the beater off, pointedly getting some of the flour off of his arms before quickly, grabbing some of the flour from the bag, tossing it on Zayn. “Now we match.” He grins as Zayn lets out a yelp.

 

He shakes his head, the white powdery substance falling from his hair. “Oh, it’s on.” He says, grinning wildly at Liam and grabbing the bag of cocoa before throwing some at Liam, who does his best to dodge it even as he laughs.

 

“Get back here Malik.” Liam laughs, chasing him around the kitchen and attempting to grab him. Zayn manages to make it to the fridge, pulling out a carton of eggs with a mischievous look in his eyes that causes Liam to take a couple steps back. “You wouldn’t…” He says slowly.

 

Zayn’s grin only grows, grabbing an egg in one hand. “I would.” He says, throwing it at Liam.

 

Liam laughs, trying to catch it so he can throw it back at Zayn but it smashes in his large hands, egg yolk feeling rather disgusting. “Hey… Zayn… Come ‘ere, I wanna give you a big ole hug.” He smirks, chasing after a yelling Zayn around the kitchen, hands stretched out in attempt to smear egg on the other boy.

 

It takes a couple tries, but Liam finally manages to grab Zayn by the wrist, pulling him close before running a hand through the other boy’s hair. “Oh, not fair.” Zayn laughs. “That’s never gonna come out now.”

 

“Mhm…” Liam mumbles, using the yolk in attempt to style Zayn’s hair. “I think it looks fabulous, personally.” He grins at Zayn.

 

Zayn rolls his eyes and Liam thinks he’s reaching for something but before he knows it, Zayn’s smashed an egg on his head. “Now we match.” He grins as some of the yolk rolls down onto Liam’s face. “Y’know, I think this is a great look for you Liam, you can definitely work it.”

 

Liam laughs quietly, running his hand through his hair in an attempt to get some of the yolk out. “Blegh, I’m never having an egg ever again, if I’m being honest.”

 

“Yeah… Me too.” Zayn laughs, scrunching up his nose a bit before sneezing. “Sorry, flour in my nose.”

 

“Sorry about that.” Liam says, cheeks flushing.

 

Zayn shrugs. “Nah, I don’t mind… It was fun y’know?” He laughs, smiling up a bit at Liam. “Even if I do feel like I need a hot shower.”

 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Liam laughs. “There’s flour in places flour should never be… I think it got down my pants somehow.”

 

“Not to mention all the egg in your hair.” Zayn laughs a bit.

 

Liam smiles, nodding. “Not to mention all the egg in my hair.” He repeats, not realising the next words out of his mouth are actually being spoken. “If I didn’t like you so much, I’d hate you.” He jokes.

 

“You like me so much?” Zayn asks, biting his lip and the tone of his voice isn’t so joking and it makes Liam worry he’s done something wrong.

 

“Yeah I mean like, you’re great. You’re funny, smart, not to mention hot-” Liam’s cheeks flush. “I’m digging myself into a bigger hole, aren’t I?”

 

“You’re complimenting me, how could you be digging yourself into a hole?” Zayn asks, eyebrows raised.

 

Liam’s cheeks flush more and he shrugs a bit, suddenly shy and unsure of himself. “I dunno…” He mumbles, looking down. “Sorry.”

 

Zayn shakes his head, taking a step closer so he and Liam are pressed together in the front, his face awfully close to Liam’s. Liam can feel the other boy’s warm breath, can almost smell the nicotine on Zayn (didn’t he mention he was quitting smoking when they were texting one time?) and he feels his own heart pick up at how close they are. Liam glances up, catching Zayn’s eyes. “Nah babe.” Zayn says softly, head moving close to Liam’s. Their noses are brushing, lips close enough that when Liam’s tongue darts out to wet his lips, it brushes Zayn’s lips. “Don’t apologise.”

 

“Ok.” Liam says, voice still barely audible. Anything above a whisper would be too loud, break them out the bubble they’re in and that’s the last thing Liam wants. He manages to gather all the courage he can, pressing his lips forward so they press firmly against Zayn’s. Liam’s not entirely sure what to do, having never really kissed someone before (sure, there were a couple girls back in middle school, one in high school but Liam never really, properly kissed someone he liked before) so he gently moves his hands to Zayn’s hips, trying to find something to do with himself.

 

Zayn, as if he knows Liam’s never properly kissed someone before, gently takes charge of the kiss, moving his head a bit so their noses aren’t pressed against each other and begins gently kissing Liam. He brings his hands up, softly cupping Liam’s face with one hand and the other placed softly on his chest as they slowly kiss in the middle of the messy kitch-

 

“Hello!?” A now familiar voice calls through the apartment as Louis enters, loudly banging around in the doorway before coming into the kitchen. His eyes fall on Zayn and Liam who are now standing a couple feet away from each other, Liam’s cheeks a bright red. “… What did I miss?”

 

Liam can feel his heart pounding in his chest and all he knows is that he needs to leave, right now. “I um- I forgot that I was meeting a friend I- I have to go.” He mumbles the last bit, carefully stepping around Louis and all but running out of the apartment.

 

Liam rushes back to his dorm all the way back at the university, feeling the odd stares as he power walks back (the flour and egg, he figures logically, but the illogical part of him can’t help but whisper that these people know, that they know he just kissed another boy and that he’s now running away like the coward he is) and Liam does his best to keep his head down.

 

Not soon enough, he’s back at his dorm and quickly unlocking the door, wanting to grab his shower stuff and shower before Andy got back from wherever he was with some friends today. It seems like the universe wants to laugh at him or at least force him out of the closet, because Andy’s inside their dorm, working on something for class by the looks of things. He swirls around in his desk chair when he hears Liam come in the room, eyebrows raising at the sight of his best mate. “You’ve uh, you’ve got a little…” He says, gesturing to Liam. “More than a little, actually, you’re covered in like, flour and egg mate.”

 

“I know.” Liam mumbles, heading over to his closet, looking for the shower kit he keeps.

 

Andy’s quiet for not even a second. “So what were you up to?”

 

“Nothing.” Liam lies, finding his towel but he still can’t find his kit which is starting to annoy him at this point. He’s sure that he’s managed to get egg or flour on some of the clothes in his closet.

 

“It looks like you were baking except I know you can’t bake.” Andy carries on as if Liam hasn’t spoken. “And you don’t get that messy by yourself sooo… What’s her name?”

 

Liam huffs, finally finding his kit and turning around to answer Andy. “There’s no chick ok?! I’m not seeing anyone, and this whole mess is nothing- just drop it Andy!”

 

“No need to yell.” Andy mutters, frowning at Liam. “Go shower, you’re making our room smell like egg.”

 

Liam sighs again, mumbling a small apology before leaving the room with his shower stuff. His shower takes longer than usual, having to scrub the egg out of his hair and make sure that he doesn’t smell horrible but it gives him a longer time to think.

 

He kissed Zayn.

 

Liam Payne kissed god-like Zayn Malik.

 

Liam sighs in the shower, roughly scrubbing his hair. Zayn had kissed him back, that was sure. Did their kiss count as a make-out? There wasn’t any tongue but Liam wasn’t sure what making out was classified as. Liam sighs again, groaning. “This is so fucked up.” He mutters to himself, unsure what the fuck he’s supposed to do. Not to mention how he was going to explain this to Andy.

 

Maybe it was time to come out?

 

Liam bites his lip, thinking. If… If Zayn actually liked him, if the kiss actually meant something, would that mean that Zayn would want to date Liam? Is Liam ready to date someone? Liam groans again, turning off the water and grabbing his towel so he can dry himself off in the shower stall. Liam debates the pros and cons of coming out as he dries off and walks back to his room, deciding that when he gets in there, he’ll tell Andy. He’ll just come out and say-

 

“Oh dude, is this your roommate?” Liam hears when he walks in. It’s one of Andy’s jock friends, he’s probably the size of Liam, if not bigger as he chats loudly to Andy with their door wide open.

 

“It’s Liam.” Liam says with a small shrug. “And uh, you mind leaving so I can…?”

 

The jock (Liam thinks his name might be Stan, but he’s not sure) rolls his eyes, laughing. “Nothing we haven’t seen before dude. Unless you’re a fag then…” He trails off awkwardly.

 

“No, I’m not.” Liam says quietly, the lie sitting wrong with him. A part of him, the part that’s been growing bigger and bigger since he joined GSA, wants to scream at Stan and Andy that yeah, Liam’s a fucking fag. He’s gay and there’s nothing either of them could do about it. Instead though, Liam just squishes that feeling under all the fear of coming out and heads over to his closet. He grabs some boxers and awkwardly pulls them on underneath his towel before dropping it and pulling on some sweats as the other two in the room talk.

 

“You coming to the big party on Friday night man?” Stan asks Andy.

 

Andy nods. “Yeah yeah man, this fucking paper’s due the morning of so I’ll be free.” He turns back to Liam.

 

“You should come bro, there’s gonna be a ton of chicks.” Stan waggles his eyebrows as if that should mean something to Liam but, to be fair, Stan thinks Liam’s straight.

 

“Sick.” Liam says, mind already scrambling for an excuse not to go. “But uh, I think I already told a couple friends of mine I’d hang out with them that night.”

 

Andy sighs, not believing Liam has any other friends. Liam doesn’t blame him for thinking that, it’s not like he’s been forthcoming with the fact he’s going to GSA now. “Mate, if you didn’t want to come, you could’ve just told us.”

 

“Though I don’t know why man, it’s gonna be sick I mean- what could be better than sorority chicks?” Stan presses.

 

Liam shakes his head. “No really, I’ve told my friend uh- Zayn that I would hang out with him and a couple of his mates that night. Bros night in, that sort of thing.”

 

“Wait, do you mean that Zayn Malik dude who’s always looks like he should be on some magazine cover?” Stan asks.

 

Liam considers this, because, wow, that’s a very accurate description of Zayn. “Uh, yeah.” He nods.

 

Stan shakes his head. “Nah man, him and his friends are all gay.” His eyes widens. “You don’t wanna hang out with them, they’ll like-”

 

“Dude come on.” Andy rolls his eyes. “That’s a bit much yeah? Just like, chill man.”

 

Stan looks between Andy and Liam before shrugging. “Alright, fine then bro. If you’d rather a bros night, fine by me. More chicks for me.” He turns back to Andy before Liam can say anything (not that he really would, honestly). “I’ve gotta go though, talk to you later bro!” He calls, already half way out the door.

 

Andy doesn’t really say goodbye, turning to Liam. “Are you actually friends with Zayn Malik and all his friends?” He asks.

 

Liam nods. “I uh, joined GSA.” He admits in a mumble. “They’re pretty sick.”

 

“Everyone’s gonna think you’re gay though.” Andy points out.

 

That’s kind of the point, Liam thinks bitterly but outwardly, he just shrugs. “I don’t really care.” He says even though he does care very much, it’s the caring that’s stopping him from telling people.

 

Andy watches Liam carefully for a moment. “Alright then bro.” He mumbles, turning back to his computer so he can work on whatever essay he’s supposed to be writing. “How do you spell conscientious?” He asks Liam.

 

“How would I know, google it.” Liam rolls his eyes, laughing a bit. The only worse speller than him, was Andy and with that comment, the two boys fell into their usual chatter, talking about nothing important but just freely talking, something that reminds Liam just why he and Andy are such good friends.

 

__________________________

 

Liam purposely avoids Zayn throughout the next week, even taking ridiculously long detours to his class just because he thinks he might have seen Zayn. He just… He doesn’t know how to talk to boys and he doesn’t want to mess this thing up with Zayn. Liam knows, logically, that not talking to Zayn is only digging himself into a bigger hole but he can’t find the courage to get himself out of it. He texts Zayn a couple times, usually in the middle of the night when he’s too busy worrying to sleep, if only to tell Zayn that he hasn’t died in a ditch or that Liam doesn’t hate him or something else along those lines. He skips the meeting on Thursday night but Friday morning, he shows up to the bake sale table, awkward and empty handed.

 

“Uh, hi.” Liam mumbles, standing awkwardly off to the side of the table that Harry and Niall were sitting at.

 

Harry frowns when he sees Liam. “You know, Zayn’s been very upset and since he won’t tell us anything, we can only guess it has to do with you because you have that same kicked puppy dog look and you’ve been avoiding us.”

 

Liam awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. “I uh, I think I really messed up.” He mumbles, taking the empty seat next to Harry as Niall serves someone.

 

“Are you gonna mope or tell us?” Niall asks after the people leave, turning to face Liam with a raised eyebrow.

 

Liam nods, nervously playing with his fingers and biting his bottom lip. “We were um, we were baking at Zayn’s place and um, we were messing around and we just kind of… kissed.” He says the last word barely audible, not looking at either of the boys. He can feel his cheeks go a bright red.

 

“You kissed Zayn!?!” Niall all but shouts.

 

Liam quickly looks around the room, trying to see if anyone he knows heard Niall’s outburst. “Yes, I kissed him and please don’t shout.” He whispers lowly. “Look just- I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Well, did he kiss you back?” Harry asks and Liam nods, not speaking. “Was it like, a heat of the moment thing or a ‘I want to do that multiple times’ sort of thing?”

 

“I um.” Liam mumbles, not sure. “I don’t know. Zayn’s the first boy that’s ever like, kissed me or even maybe might be into me like that. I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Do you like him?” Harry presses.

 

Liam stays quiet for a moment. “I-”

 

“Because you have to figure out if you like Zayn for him or if you just like Zayn because he’s the first boy who’s shown interest in you.” Harry says softly but firmly.

 

This stops Liam for a moment, making him think. He thinks of all the texts that he and Zayn have sent, all the times he’s glanced over at Zayn and caught the other boy’s eye, the times his heart stuttered in his chest and when his stomach was over run with butterflies. “He- he makes me feel fuzzy.” Liam admits quietly to the two boys. “He makes me feel like it’s the middle of winter but it’s fine because I’m cuddled under 5 different blankets and I don’t have to move because it’s a weekend.”

 

Niall lets out a low whistle and Harry hushes him but his eyes look happy with Liam’s response. “I think you should really talk to Zayn mate.” Harry nods.

 

“How though?” Liam lets out a small groan. “I’ve never talked to boys before- I’m not even out.” He mumbles embarrassed. “Every time I try and tell Andy- he’s my best mate- I just- I get so scared y’know? Like what if he freaks out?”

 

Harry’s quiet for a moment. “Then you have to realise that he isn’t the person you hoped he was.”

 

Liam bites his bottom lip. “I-”

 

“Liam, mate!” Andy says, coming out of nowhere. “What’re you up to bro?”

 

“GSA stuff.” Liam says quickly, motioning to the table.

 

“It’s a fundraiser for our annual dance.” Niall pikes up. “$1 for a regular sized cookie, $2 for a big cookie or $2.50 for a cupcake.”

 

“Uh, I’ll take a couple of the big ones.” Andy says, fishing out his wallet and handing over a couple coins. He picks up two big chocolate chip cookies, balancing them on top of his books. He bites his lip for a moment, thinking about something. “Look, uh, bro, sorry about Stan.”

 

Liam shakes his head. “It’s fine.” He shrugs, even though it wasn’t very fine but he’d rather not have this conversation (seeing as it would most likely end with him coming out to Andy) in the middle of their university caf. “See you later tonight?”

 

“I’ve got that party but, uh, you’re still welcome to come.” Andy shrugs. “Oh, wait, you’re hanging out with these guys right? Sorry.”

 

Liam roughly bites his lip, hoping one other boys doesn’t say anything. “Right uh, later then bro.” He says, mentally wishing Andy would leave and, for once, the universe is in Liam’s favour and Andy leaves with a quick wave.

 

“Awh, you’re hanging out with us tonight?” Niall grins cheekily over at Liam.

 

Liam blushes. “Sorry, I just need an excuse not to go to that party and you guys were the first thing I could think of.” He explains. “Thanks for not saying anything.”

 

Harry waves him off. “We usually go out after a fundraiser day anyways, get drinks at a nice pub around the district.” He explains.

 

“I know the owner so he usually gives us a discount.” Niall grins.

 

Harry rolls his eyes. “Niall used to work there before the coffee shop but he got fired because he kept giving us free drinks.”

 

“Just you.” Niall grins, leaning over to give Harry a messy, wet kiss on the cheek. Harry laughs and does that odd thing he does where he pretends to shove Niall away but really just pulls him closer.

 

Liam watches the moment between the two boys and he can’t help but roll his eyes a bit at how sickeningly cute they are. “Don’t you do that with your job now?” Liam points out.

 

Niall shrugs. “I don’t think they care that much and, worse case, I get fired and have to find a new job.” He says it so casually, as if it didn’t bother him and Liam wishes he was that carefree.

 

“Alright then.” Liam finds himself saying as he nods. “Uh, what pub and what time?”

 

“We’ll have Zayn text you the details.” Niall smirks, obviously liking the idea of playing matchmaker with him and Zayn. Liam sighs a bit but, ultimately, he doesn’t mind and, true to Niall’s word, Liam gets the text from Zayn about the time and place. It’s during one of his classes so Liam puts off replying until it’s too late to reply (or, too late in Liam’s eyes). He ends up leaving his dorm late too, too worried about seeing Zayn that he ends up loosing track of time so that when Liam glances at his clock, he’s swearing and rushing out the door. He’s probably about half an hour late but Niall and Harry seem to have saved him a spot at their booth, even if Zayn’s not looking at Liam as soon as he arrives.

 

“Sorry, lost track of time.” Liam says in explanation when he slides into the open seat.

 

“S’alright mate, nothing interesting happens until we’re all shit faced.” Niall laughs, calling over a waitress so Liam can order.

 

“Uh, coke and rum, thanks.” Liam says, smiling at her as she nods, writing it down before fluttering off. Liam thinks, given Zayn’s cold shoulder towards him and Louis’s icy looks, he’s going to need some alcohol to get through the night.

 

The night seems to start flying by as Liam gets drunker and drunker, Niall (and, occasionally Louis) ordering round after round, making Liam try fruity or more alcoholic drinks than he’d usually have. Right now, he’s over at the bar, drinking a vibrantly pink drink when Zayn comes over to him, obviously drunk as well. “I’m mad at you.” Zayn says in as stern of a voice he can manage in his drunken state. He pouts too which Liam finds adorable.

 

Liam frowns back, looking down at his drink, absently wondering how exactly they get it that pink. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles.

 

“I bet… You don’t even know what for.” Zayn says, pouting harder at Liam as he leans a bit onto the other boy. “You made me sad.”

 

“I don’t want to make you sad.” Liam mumbles, letting Zayn lean on him. He likes the warmth that Zayn’s body gives off and Liam awkwardly wraps an arm around the other boy, bringing him closer. “I want you happy.”

 

Zayn frowns, resting his head on Liam’s shoulder and wrapping his arm around Liam’s waist. “Well you’re making me sad.”

 

“I said sorry.” Liam mumbles. “Why are you sad?”

 

“See look!” Zayn huffs but doesn’t move from Liam’s side. “You don’t even know.”

 

Liam bites his lip. “Is it because I kissed you then left?” He blurts out, cheeks flushing as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

 

Zayn stays quiet for a couple moments and Liam’s about to apologise again, thinking that he guessed wrong that maybe Liam had been reading all the signs (were there even signs? Maybe it was all in his head…) wrong and Zayn was mad at him because he ruined a good friendship. “Yes.” He mumbles. “I like your face and then you left. Your face left and I didn’t like that.” Zayn finishes the drink in his hand, frowning at the empty glass. “Just like this drink. I liked the drink and then it left me.”

 

“It’s inside of you because you drank it Zayn.” Liam can’t help but giggle.

 

Zayn pouts for a moment before smirking a bit. “I want you inside of me.”

 

Liam’s cheeks go the same shade of pink as his drink and he ducks his head, taking a sip from said drink so he doesn’t have to answer right away. “I… uh-”

 

Zayn frowns. “Right, you don’t like me like that because the kiss was a mistake and now I’m making things awkward.” He starts to pull away from Liam, drunkenly trying to pull out of his grasp.

 

“No!” Liam all but shouts, gaining a couple looks from strangers nearby but Liam ignores them, focusing on Zayn. “You’re not making things awkward I mean-” Liam says, trying to force the worlds out as fast and as clear as possible. “And um- do you think the kiss was a mistake because I don’t think it was a mistake unless you think it was a mistake so um, if you think it was a mistake then you should tell me so I can continue drowning my sorrows in alcohol. And also I like you. I think you’re nice and your face is nice and your body is nice and everything about you is nice.” Liam nods shortly afterwards, drunken mind congratulating him on his speech even if the sober part of him will regret how it came out in the morning.

 

“I think everything about you is nice too.” Zayn mumbles, cheeks flushing as he relaxes against Liam again. “Your lips especially.”

 

Liam blushes as well, biting his lips. “Do you wanna like- kiss?” He mumbles, embarrassed a bit.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Zayn says breathlessly as he nods quickly before leaning up to press his lips against Liam’s. Liam sighs softly, Zayn’s lips just as he remembered them. The kiss is different from the one they shared in the kitchen, though. That kiss was soft and hesitant, both unsure if this was what the other wanted. This kiss was faster, Zayn pressing surely against Liam, taking charge of the kiss like before but making it sloppier and dirtier. Liam whimpers against Zayn’s lips, gripping at the other boy’s hips tightly as he kisses back eagerly. Zayn moves them so he’s pressing Liam against the bar, his arms wrapped around Liam’s neck and his fingers attempting to tangle into the other boy’s short hair. They stay like that for what feels like forever and not at all before someone is coughing loudly. Liam’s cheeks flush as he pulls away from Zayn, resting his forehead on the other boy’s.

 

“I- wow.” Liam giggles, grinning at Zayn. “That was- nice. Very nice.”

 

Zayn laughs as well, his nose brushing purposely against Liam’s. “D’you wanna like, head back to mine?” He says, biting his bottom lip in a way that only makes Liam want to lean forward and smash their lips together.

 

Liam nods quickly as Zayn pulls back, grabbing Liam’s hand as he leads the other boy out of the bar. “Shouldn’t we like, tell the boys?” He asks as Zayn attempts to hail a cab for them.

 

“I’ll text them in the ride yeah?” Zayn smirks a bit as a cab slows down for them. He presses a soft kiss to Liam’s lips, grinning against them. “C’mon babes.” He mumbles, pulling back so he can open the cab door for Liam. Liam blushes, sliding into the car and feeling Zayn press up against him in the back of the cab, half listening to Zayn tell the driver his address. Liam rests his head on Zayn shoulder, linking their hands together for the drive to Zayn’s place, absentmindedly listening to Zayn’s low voice before slowly, his eyes begin to droop and he yawns a couple times, attempting to force his eyes to stay open, just for a little… longer…

 

__________________________

 

Liam wakes up the next morning with a ponding head and a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that he can’t figure out if it’s from anxiety or alcohol from the night before. Maybe both. He groans quietly, blinking his eyes slowly, the room around him unfamiliar. It’s not filled with the noises from his dorm hall or Andy’s loud snoring and it takes Liam a moment to realise that these walls are white, not the same blue from his dorm walls. It takes him another moment to realise that last night he and Zayn drunkenly talked before stumbling into a cab and going back to Zayn’s.

 

Liam’s brain blanks after that and, automatically, he looks down at his body and sees he’s no longer in his clothes from last night, instead just the boxers he was wearing underneath everything. His mind jumps to the worst which is; _oh god I lost my virginity while drunk and I don’t even remember it._ Liam quickly srambles out of the bed, grabbing his clothes off the floor. He hastily tugs on his pants and shirt, grabbing his jacket and sneaks out of the room. He’s at Zayn’s place, obviously, now that he’s only half freaking out. He quietly walks over to the door, finding his shoes next to it and puts those on too. He gets out of the apartment and starts the brisk walk back to the dorms, forcing himself not to think about how he just utterly fucked up.

 

Andy’s still asleep when he gets back and Liam lets out a small sigh of relif. He changes his clothes from last night, still forcing himself not to think about it before he lays down in his own bed. Liam lets out a shaky breath, rolling over to face the wall and tries to will himself to sleep. He can’t, of course, so he ends up staring blankly at his wall until he hears Andy wake up.

 

“What time you’d come in last night?” Andy says sleepily, laughing a bit as Liam rolls over so he can face Andy.

 

Liam shrugs. “Dunno, late.”

 

“Head feel like shit?” Andy smirks a bit, sitting up in his bed and letting out a yawn.

 

Liam shrugs again. “Yeah.” His head does feel like shit but it’s not from alcohol.

 

Andy makes a humming noise, almost in agreement but Liam knows that’s not true. He’s seen Andy too many times on the morning after a night out, Andy never got hungover.

 

They spend most of the morning in their dorm, both working on their respective homework and listening to some of their favourite bands play quietly in the background. “I need food.” Andy declares, shutting his laptop around 1. “C’mon bro I don’t wanna look like a loner, come to the caf with me.”

 

Liam nervously bites his bottom lip, thinking about it. Someone (Zayn) could be there but… it was later than most people took lunch so he ends up nodding. “Yeah sure just let me finish up this paragraph yeah?” He says and Andy nods.

 

They leave about 20 minutes later, Andy talking about the party he went to the night before, more than happy to have control of their conversation and Liam didn’t mind. It’s not like he could really talk about what happened between him and Zayn, as much as he wanted to. Maybe he could finally find the courage in himself and tell Andy he was gay and get the other boy’s advice on what to do. Andy, for all his faults, was pretty good with romantic advice. Well, to an extent.

 

They’re about half way to the caf when Liam regrets the decision to leave his dorm room. “Liam!” He hears Louis’s familiar voice call after him. He’s very obviously not happy to see Liam, by the tone of his voice. Liam’s blood runs cold in his veins.

 

“Louis um-”

 

Louis crosses his arms in front of Liam, glaring at him and not paying attention to Andy. “I’m pissed at you.” He informs Liam.

 

“Louis can we talk about this-” not in front of Andy. Was what Liam was trying to say but Louis just cuts him off again.

 

“Right now, yeah that seems like a good idea.” Louis cuts him off bluntly. “Because you really need to stop fucking with Zayn’s emotions.”

 

“I-” Liam starts to say, biting his lip and hanging his head a bit. “I didn’t mean to.” He mumbles.

 

Louis lets out a huff. “Fuck, I can’t be mad when you’re pulling those puppy dog eyes.” He pauses for a moment. “Just- fucking talk to Zayn? Or don’t but you need to stop stringing him along then running off mate, yeah? Because I don’t like seeing my best mate completely ripping his hair out and chain smoking because of anyone, even you.”

 

Liam nods, still chewing on his lip. “I wasn’t trying to… like, y’know.” He mumbles.

 

Louis sighs and pulls Liam into a tight hug. “You’re both dumb fuckers if you ask me.” Louis rolls his eyes as he pulls away. “I have to run, meeting up with a couple mates of mine.” Louis says, already running off. “Sort this shit out Liam.”

 

“So… What was that about?” Andy asks slowly, looking at Liam with a raised eyebrow.

 

Liam’s heart stops in his chest for the third time that day and he swears mentally. “I… uh… do you wanna get lunch first and I can explain it back in our room?” Liam says quietly, mentally begging Andy to let wait and let Liam explain in private.

 

Andy nods. “Yeah man, sure.” He says. He pauses for a moment before throwing an arm over Liam’s shoulder, pulling him closer so they’re practically tripping over each other as they walk and Liam can’t help but laugh a bit, the weight on his chest lightening.

 

They make it back to their room rather quickly, Andy already having jumped back into his stories from the night before, gleefully telling Liam all of the funny stuff that happens until they reach their room when he falls silent for a couple moments. “So…” Andy says pointedly.

 

Liam chews on his lip for a moment. “I’m gay.” He says quietly.

 

Andy doesn’t say anything for a moment. “That’s the news?” He raises his eyebrows. “Dude, I’ve known for ages.”

 

“I- what?” Liam says, completely shocked and surprised.

 

Andy nods. “I’ve never seen someone look so uncomfortable around girls. I mean, at first I thought maybe you were asexual or something but then there was that time when I walked in on you-”

 

“Yeah we don’t need to bring that up.” Liam mumbles, cheeks colouring.

 

Andy makes a noise of agreement. “Yeah no, we don’t. Anyways dude, I’ve known for ages. I thought you joining this GSA thing would maybe help you come out or something but… Did you not trust me?” He asks quietly.

 

“I…” Liam trails off softly. “I just didn’t know how you’d react.” He mumbles. “I didn’t want you to get like, grossed out or- or something and just… ditch me or something.”

 

Andy goes quiet. “Liam, we’ve been best friends since pre-K.” Andy says. “You seriously thought I’d throw that all away because you’re gay?”

 

Liam hangs his head, ashamed. “I’m sorry.” He says quietly. “I just… I had no idea how you’d react and I didn’t want to risk it.”

 

Andy goes quiet again before practically leaping across the room to hug Liam tightly. “Fuck you man, you’re making me sappy.”

 

“Sorry.” Liam says, laughing a bit and tightly hugging Andy back. “And, I am sorry I didn’t tell you. I should’ve trusted you.”

 

Andy makes a noise of agreement, pulling back. “Damn straight.” He nods. “Now, what’s this thing that the other dude-”

 

“Louis.” Liam supplies.

 

“Yeah him, what was he going on about?”

 

Liam can’t really hold it back anymore, needing to tell someone everything that’s been going on since he joined GSA. He starts from the beginning, right when he met Harry and Louis at the stand all the way to the pub last night and waking up in Zayn’s bed with him. “And then I ran.” Liam admits, a bit shamefully.

 

“So… You woke up to Zayn not fully naked, didn’t remember the night before and assumed you guys slept together but really you have no idea so instead of waiting for Zayn to wake up- someone who’s also your friend, if I’m going by what you told me- you just ran.” Andy sums up the end of it.

 

Liam bites his lip, nodding. “Yeah.”

 

“So really, you have no idea if you two actually slept together.” Andy says slowly.

 

“Yeah…” Andy smacks him over the head. “What the fuck?! What was that for?” Liam exclaims.

 

Andy rolls his eyes. “That’s for being an idiot. You need to talk to this guy, seriously Liam. You need to stop running from your problems.”

 

“Ok but what if my problem is a mass murderer.” Liam can’t help but say cheekily.

 

“I will smack you again.” Andy threatens. “Now get the fuck out of here, go talk to Zayn and don’t come back till it’s all sorted out.” He’s pulling Liam up off his bed and pushing him out of the dorm.

 

“I don’t even have my keys-” Liam tries to protest, pushing back against Andy but it’s not with his full strength.

 

Andy pushing him out of the room before closing the door and locking it. “And you’re not getting back in here until you talk to Zayn!”

 

Liam looks down at his socked feet. “Can I have some shoes?” There’s silence on the other side of the door for a few moments before it unlocks and a pair of Liam’s shoes are thrown out. “Thanks.” Liam says, only half sarcastic as he pulls the shoes on.

 

Liam starts the walk over to Zayn’s place, rubbing at his arms and wishing that he’d asked Andy to throw him his jacket too. The weather was already turning into the typical England winter, plainly cold and soaking wet at the best of times. Liam glances up at the grey sky, mentally willing it to hold off long enough for him to walk to Zayn’s. It grumbles before opening up, the rain coming down hard right from the start. Liam huffs and just speeds up his walk to Zayn’s.

 

He knocks loudly on Zayn’s door, chewing his lip nervously and wondering if the other boy will open it or not. “Louis I told you not to forget your keys, fuck man-” Zayn says, opening the door and obviously not expecting Liam. “Oh. It’s you.” His tone changes completely to a flat, not amused or happy voice that Liam’s never heard before. “Go home Liam.” He starts to close the door but Liam shoves his foot in to stop him.

 

“Oh fuck, that hurt.” He says in a higher pitch voice when Zayn slams the door on his foot. “The movies always make that look less painful.”

 

Zayn huffs, opening the door again. “I don’t want you here, go home.”

 

“Can I explain?” Liam practically begs, trying to ignore his throbbing foot. “Just give me- 2 minutes.”

 

Zayn crosses his arms, thinking. “You have a minute.”

 

“… Can I come in?” Liam asks. He’s protected from the rain but it’s still cold out and he’d rather not catch a cold.

 

“No.” Zayn says. “And you’re down to 30 seconds.”

 

“Shit ok.” Liam says quickly. “I just need to know- did we have sex?” He asks bluntly, cheeks flushing a the last word.

 

Zayn’s eyebrows furl together. “What?”

 

“Last night, did we have sex?” Liam presses.

 

Zayn slowly shakes his head. “No, of course not. You were drunk, I was drunk, neither of us were in a state to have sex.”

 

Liam lets out a breath of relief. “Oh thank god.”

 

Zayn’s eyes narrow at Liam. “Why, is the idea of having sex with me that repulsive?” He huffs, already trying to close the door again but Liam catches it with his hands, easily overpowering Zayn.

 

“No, jesus, no Zayn.” Liam says. “You are- I want to have sex with you I just… I didn’t want to lose my virginity drunk and not remember it.” He mumbles the last bit quietly, cheeks flushing a bright pink. “I really really like you Zayn. I meant what I said last night, I wouldn’t have said them if I didn’t.” Liam promises. “And- when we kissed last week Zayn I…” He trails off, unable to properly put the words together. He makes a frustrated noise. “I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone else ok? You make me feel warm and fuzzy inside and like- like that feeling you get when you’re a kid and it starts snowing for the first time and you just have to tell people about it because it’s snow and- and you just can’t contain it inside of yourself not to make a scene about it.” Liam rambles.

 

Zayn goes quiet for a moment before opening the door more and stepping out of the way. “You look freezing.” He says quietly. “Come in, I’ll get you some dry clothes.”

 

Liam nods, stepping into the apartment and taking his wet shoes off. He can’t help but look around a bit, noticing how it looks the same but different from when he was hear last week. It’s messier, that’s for sure. Zayn comes back after a couple moments and hands Liam a pile of clothes. “That should fit you.” He says quietly, pointing to one of the closed doors. “You can get changed in the washroom, just toss your wet clothes out and I’ll put them in the dryer.”

 

“Thanks.” Liam says quietly, heading over to the washroom that Zayn pointed out. He quickly stripes from his wet clothes, using one of the towels in the washroom to dry his body off before pulling Zayn’s clothes on. He breathes in deeply, loving the mixed cologne and nicotine smell that hang to the clothes. He slowly steps out of the bathroom as Zayn come out from the laundry room. They stand awkwardly in the middle of the hall, looking at each other. “I uh, I came out to Andy.” He says.

 

Zayn nods. “That’s really good. How did he, uh, how did he take it?”

 

“Good, good. Said he already knew.” Liam smiles a bit. “He uh, he was the one who convinced me to come here. Kinda locked me out until I talked it out with you.”

 

“So you’re only here because you have to be?” Zayn raises an eyebrow.

 

Liam shakes his head quickly. “No, no. I just mean that he helped me realise how much of an idiot I was being.”

 

“Well you were being a very big idiot.” Zayn huffs softly, crossing his arms.

 

Liam nods. “I know… Could you ever forgive me?” He asks quietly. “I’ll do anything… I really really do like you Zayn but… if you don’t want to date an idiot then I understand but I still want to be your friend you’re… you’re amazing Zayn. I can’t even find a better word than amazing to describe you.”

 

Zayn ducks his head a bit, blushing. “Can you promise me something?” He asks softly.

 

“Anything.” Liam says vehemently and he means it.

 

“Talk to me.” Zayn says, looking up and catching Liam’s eye. “Don’t just run when you get scared, we’ll never make it like that, as friends or as partners. You need to talk to me about something if you’re unsure or freaked out.”

 

Liam bites his lip, nodding. “I can try.” He mumbles softly, his fingers twisting together as Zayn steps forward.

 

“Just know you can tell me anything.” Zayn says softly. “I don’t care if you think it’s dumb, I want to know. I want to know if you accidentally say the wrong word at the cashier and your entire face turned that adorable shade of pink that it goes when you think you’ve embarrassed yourself. I want to know if I’m pushing too far or if you want more. Relationships don’t work if we don’t talk.”

 

“Ok.” Liam nods. “I- I want to tell you everything.” He says, surprising himself with how true that is. “It’s- you have to give me time though. It’s not… I don’t usually tell people things.” He admits.

 

Zayn nods. “Just try.” He says softly and Liam suddenly realises how close they are. He can feel Zayn’s breath on his own lips.

 

“Ok.” Liam says again, breathlessly this time. “Can I kiss you?”

 

Zayn nods again and Liam leans forward, softly kissing the other boy.  

**Author's Note:**

> the title's taken from He Is We's song _All About Us_ featuring Owl City
> 
> find me on tumblr at [squishyliampayne](http://squishyliampayne.tumblr.com/)


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